The Art of Convincing a Kid to Carry Their Own Stuff
The other day, I picked up a kid from school, and he didn’t want to carry his backpack. As a nanny, I want to teach children responsibility, and I didn’t want to set a precedent that I would carry it for him every time. I reminded him that every other kid in his class was carrying their own backpack, and he should take care of his belongings too. After some gentle encouragement, he finally picked it up himself!
As a nanny, I’ve encountered plenty of moments when a child, for one reason or another, just doesn’t want to carry their backpack. Whether they’re tired, frustrated, or simply feeling uncooperative, these situations require patience, empathy, and a bit of creativity. Here are my go-to strategies for turning a meltdown into a manageable moment.
1. Acknowledge Their Feelings
When a child is upset, the first step is to recognize their emotions. Getting down to their level and calmly saying something like, “I see you’re feeling frustrated. What’s wrong?” can make a huge difference. Sometimes, all they need is to feel heard before they’re willing to cooperate.
2. Give Them a Choice
Kids love having control over their decisions. Offering options can help them regain a sense of power. Try saying:
“Would you like to carry it on one shoulder or both?”
“Do you want to hold the handle, or should I put it on your back for you?”
Framing the situation as a choice rather than a demand often leads to better cooperation.
3. Turn It Into a Game
Turning a frustrating task into something fun can make all the difference! Try:
A Speed Challenge: “I bet you can’t carry it all the way to the door in 10 steps!”
Pretend Play: “Oh no! Your backpack is a jetpack—let’s see how fast you can go!”
The Secret Mission: “Can you sneak your backpack past the sleeping dragon (me) without waking me up?”
4. Check the Weight
Sometimes, their reluctance is completely valid—the backpack might just be too heavy! If that’s the case, offer to lighten the load by carrying an item or two until they feel ready to take it on again.
5. Use Encouragement & Praise
A little positive reinforcement goes a long way.
“Wow, you’re so strong! I love how you carry your backpack just like a big kid!”
“I knew you could do it! You’re awesome!”
This helps build their confidence and makes them more likely to cooperate in the future.
6. Offer a Compromise
If they’re still reluctant, a middle-ground approach can work. Say something like:
“How about I carry it to the next corner, and then it’s your turn?”
This makes the task feel less overwhelming while still encouraging responsibility.
7. Stay Calm and Keep Moving
If time is running short and none of the strategies work, it’s okay to carry the backpack for a little while. However, avoid making it a habit so they don’t expect it every time. Reassure them: “I’ll help you this time, but I know you can do it next time.”
A Nanny’s Perspective on Everyday Challenges
Being a nanny means handling plenty of little moments like this, where a simple task turns into a challenge. But honestly, these are the moments that teach kids—and us—valuable lessons. Teaching responsibility, problem-solving, and patience isn’t always easy, but with a little creativity (and humor), it becomes part of the adventure. At the end of the day, every child is different, and what works for one may not work for another. But no matter what, the key is to stay patient, keep a sense of humor, and remember—sometimes, even getting a kid to carry their own backpack is a victory worth celebrating!
Do you have any go-to tricks for handling these situations? I’d love to hear your experiences!